1 00:00:05,221 --> 00:00:07,380 [intro music] 2 00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:12,061 [imitates train] Tickets this way for the Chatsworth Express! 3 00:00:12,141 --> 00:00:16,341 Come and watch pikeys making a mess of the lives 4 00:00:16,421 --> 00:00:19,541 they were given by him upstairs. 5 00:00:19,620 --> 00:00:23,021 And kids they're convinced aren't actually theirs. 6 00:00:23,101 --> 00:00:24,061 [shouts] Stay away! 7 00:00:24,140 --> 00:00:30,741 What sounds on earth could ever replace kids needing money or wives in your face? 8 00:00:30,820 --> 00:00:33,900 Cos this, people reckon, and me included, 9 00:00:33,981 --> 00:00:38,301 is why pubs and drugs were kindly invented, 10 00:00:38,381 --> 00:00:42,021 to calm us all down and stop us going mental. 11 00:00:42,101 --> 00:00:46,501 These are Chatsworth Estate's basic essentials. 12 00:00:46,580 --> 00:00:50,821 We are worth every penny for grinding your axes. 13 00:00:50,900 --> 00:00:55,501 You shit on our heads, but you pay the taxes. 14 00:00:55,580 --> 00:00:58,501 [all laughing] 15 00:00:58,580 --> 00:01:01,501 Imagine a Britain without Chatsworth buccaneers 16 00:01:01,580 --> 00:01:04,381 who'd come on your face for the price of a beer. 17 00:01:04,461 --> 00:01:07,821 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 18 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:12,101 Make poverty history, cheaper drugs now! 19 00:01:12,181 --> 00:01:13,861 [laughing] 20 00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,381 Scatter! 21 00:01:15,461 --> 00:01:16,741 Party! 22 00:01:20,181 --> 00:01:22,500 [music fades out] 23 00:01:22,581 --> 00:01:26,700 [Carl] In science we got told all kinds of these law things, like: 24 00:01:26,780 --> 00:01:29,621 "For every action there's an equal and opposite reaction." 25 00:01:29,700 --> 00:01:32,221 [distorted sounds] 26 00:01:34,301 --> 00:01:37,661 I don't want to see your faces around Chatsworth again. You got it? 27 00:01:37,741 --> 00:01:39,261 [suspenseful music] 28 00:01:41,821 --> 00:01:43,181 [music fades out] 29 00:01:43,261 --> 00:01:47,301 [Carl] I've got a new one: "When two bodies are on the run, 30 00:01:47,381 --> 00:01:49,860 the lack of planning and the distance they travel 31 00:01:49,941 --> 00:01:52,741 is directly proportional to the bullshit they're leaving behind." 32 00:01:52,821 --> 00:01:55,541 It was here on this very spot just under a week ago 33 00:01:55,621 --> 00:01:58,500 that local teenager Ted Boden, known affectionately 34 00:01:58,580 --> 00:02:02,220 as Bonehead to friends, had attended a house party, 35 00:02:02,301 --> 00:02:04,700 after which he was brutally attacked, and later died. 36 00:02:04,780 --> 00:02:05,821 Please call, Carl. 37 00:02:05,901 --> 00:02:07,420 [reporter] This unprovoked assault 38 00:02:07,500 --> 00:02:10,581 has left Chatsworth residents reeling in shock, 39 00:02:10,660 --> 00:02:12,141 and local detectives-- 40 00:02:12,221 --> 00:02:16,701 Hey! Fuckin' compo, grieving or not! 41 00:02:16,781 --> 00:02:17,621 [door opens] 42 00:02:17,701 --> 00:02:18,661 Ow! 43 00:02:18,741 --> 00:02:19,741 Still no sign? 44 00:02:21,021 --> 00:02:22,781 -Of what? -Something bad's happened. 45 00:02:22,861 --> 00:02:24,901 -Oh, don't be daft. -When? 46 00:02:24,980 --> 00:02:27,980 -Carl's gone missing. -No, he's not. 47 00:02:28,701 --> 00:02:32,701 -Guess you won't be coming to the Jockey? -Invitation duly accepted. 48 00:02:35,501 --> 00:02:38,221 I bet you a packet of fig rolls he'll be back tomorrow 49 00:02:38,301 --> 00:02:39,581 with a smile on his face. 50 00:02:39,661 --> 00:02:42,861 -He's not even checking Facebook. -Look... 51 00:02:42,941 --> 00:02:46,421 When I was his age I followed the Bay City Rollers on tour 52 00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:48,341 for ten days without telling anyone. 53 00:02:48,421 --> 00:02:51,661 -Oh, you were considerate. -You slapper! Is that where you were! 54 00:02:54,221 --> 00:02:56,861 Carl always says, "See ya." Always. 55 00:02:56,941 --> 00:02:58,820 [tense music] 56 00:03:00,501 --> 00:03:02,221 [music fades out] 57 00:03:03,781 --> 00:03:05,661 [phone beeps] 58 00:03:06,540 --> 00:03:08,100 Still? 59 00:03:08,181 --> 00:03:10,100 -How've you got one? -I haven't. 60 00:03:10,181 --> 00:03:13,181 [moaning on telephone] 61 00:03:13,260 --> 00:03:15,181 -Saved this. -What the fuck for? 62 00:03:15,260 --> 00:03:17,420 If it had been you and not Bonehead shagging her, 63 00:03:17,501 --> 00:03:20,781 -then, bye-bye, Chesney. -I wouldn't have showed it everyone. 64 00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:23,021 Who were you calling? 65 00:03:23,100 --> 00:03:26,181 Anyone who'll come and get us out of this shit-hole. 66 00:03:26,260 --> 00:03:28,540 Tell anyone why we left, they're in danger. 67 00:03:28,621 --> 00:03:32,741 So we'll lie low. Stay out of sight until Jimmy's nicked. 68 00:03:32,820 --> 00:03:35,501 -Thinking with your dick started this. -You're to blame as well. 69 00:03:35,581 --> 00:03:38,100 -Why? -You bet I couldn't shag Sammy. 70 00:03:38,181 --> 00:03:41,021 [shouts] This is fucking stupid. 71 00:03:41,661 --> 00:03:45,021 -How far to the ferry? -[Carl] Too fucking far. 72 00:03:45,100 --> 00:03:47,341 [soft flute music] 73 00:03:49,941 --> 00:03:51,181 [music fades out] 74 00:03:51,260 --> 00:03:52,540 [laughing] 75 00:03:52,621 --> 00:03:55,661 Does it count as a honeymoon if you don't go straight away? 76 00:03:55,741 --> 00:03:58,700 Exactly! She did that to you? The bloody bitch! 77 00:03:58,781 --> 00:03:59,941 It's worth waiting for. 78 00:04:00,021 --> 00:04:01,061 [chatter] 79 00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:02,820 -Safari? -That won't be cheap. 80 00:04:02,901 --> 00:04:04,341 Real baboons. 81 00:04:04,420 --> 00:04:06,380 You know what? I'm really proud of him. 82 00:04:06,461 --> 00:04:08,700 His father's nose is coming through. 83 00:04:08,781 --> 00:04:12,781 -Go away! I'd've knocked you right out! -No need for that. 84 00:04:12,860 --> 00:04:14,380 Long as Nana's accent stays at bay. 85 00:04:14,461 --> 00:04:17,381 -So what're you saying? -Fuck off! 86 00:04:17,461 --> 00:04:19,100 Did you clock that? 87 00:04:20,100 --> 00:04:22,461 -He's just took it the wrong way. -What? 88 00:04:22,541 --> 00:04:25,301 -The threat to knock him out, Mum. -He knows I'm joking. 89 00:04:25,381 --> 00:04:28,781 It's not you, it's just... your manner can be-- 90 00:04:28,861 --> 00:04:30,221 Say what you mean, Karen. 91 00:04:30,301 --> 00:04:35,180 To a more delicate soul you might sometimes come across slightly aggressive. 92 00:04:35,261 --> 00:04:37,701 Me! Aggressive? 93 00:04:38,781 --> 00:04:41,541 Y'all right, Jamie? Can I have a lager and a blackhead? 94 00:04:41,620 --> 00:04:44,021 -Still no Carl? -Nah. 95 00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:46,261 -Yes, mate? -Two Stellas. 96 00:04:46,341 --> 00:04:49,221 Oh, what convenient timing. 97 00:04:50,021 --> 00:04:53,101 Stella by name it's me youngest. 98 00:04:54,581 --> 00:04:56,261 Fucking no offence. 99 00:04:56,341 --> 00:04:58,821 Just, you know, apple of me eye, that's all. 100 00:04:58,901 --> 00:05:00,901 [chatter] 101 00:05:00,981 --> 00:05:03,620 [soft music] 102 00:05:05,421 --> 00:05:08,701 -Jimmy must have summat to do with it. -Everyone knows he did it. 103 00:05:08,781 --> 00:05:11,180 No, not Bonehead. Carl and Chesney legging it. 104 00:05:11,261 --> 00:05:12,861 [laughing] 105 00:05:12,940 --> 00:05:16,021 I heard that slag sister were all over Chesney at party. 106 00:05:16,101 --> 00:05:18,461 Was that before or after Bonehead shagged her? 107 00:05:18,541 --> 00:05:21,261 [soft music continues] 108 00:05:23,301 --> 00:05:25,661 I'm fucked, I need to get me head down. 109 00:05:25,740 --> 00:05:28,421 -Where you going? -Here y'are. 110 00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:30,541 [soft flute music] 111 00:05:36,060 --> 00:05:37,301 [Carl] Fuck this. 112 00:05:39,701 --> 00:05:43,661 [suspenseful music] 113 00:05:43,740 --> 00:05:45,541 [Chesney] This'll wake you up! 114 00:05:47,500 --> 00:05:49,261 [suspenseful music continues] 115 00:05:52,380 --> 00:05:54,940 [dog barking in distance] 116 00:05:55,021 --> 00:05:55,821 Whoa! 117 00:05:55,901 --> 00:05:56,981 [dog continues barking] 118 00:05:57,060 --> 00:05:58,221 [shouts] 119 00:05:58,301 --> 00:06:00,380 [tense music] 120 00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:01,301 [gunshot] 121 00:06:02,101 --> 00:06:03,380 Ches! 122 00:06:03,461 --> 00:06:05,620 [music fades out] 123 00:06:08,940 --> 00:06:10,221 [Carl] I'm sorry. 124 00:06:11,981 --> 00:06:14,341 -I'm so sorry. -That'll do. 125 00:06:14,421 --> 00:06:17,180 Look, please, stop pointing the gun at me. 126 00:06:18,701 --> 00:06:20,620 [suspenseful music] 127 00:06:24,261 --> 00:06:25,101 Please. 128 00:06:26,461 --> 00:06:27,421 I'm sorry. 129 00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:28,901 Help him. 130 00:06:30,421 --> 00:06:32,101 [suspenseful music continues] 131 00:06:36,101 --> 00:06:38,500 [car approaching] 132 00:06:38,581 --> 00:06:39,461 [sobs] 133 00:06:41,261 --> 00:06:43,781 In there. Hurry up. 134 00:06:43,861 --> 00:06:44,940 Come on! 135 00:06:46,101 --> 00:06:49,141 -[Carl] What are you going to do with us? -I said, "Hurry up!" 136 00:06:49,221 --> 00:06:51,701 Quick. Move it! 137 00:06:51,781 --> 00:06:54,141 [suspenseful music] 138 00:06:54,221 --> 00:06:55,620 [music fades out] 139 00:06:55,701 --> 00:06:57,101 [dishes clattering] 140 00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:01,261 -[Ian] Oh, that's hanging. -[Micky] It's all right. 141 00:07:02,221 --> 00:07:03,740 [sighs] 142 00:07:03,820 --> 00:07:04,661 Carl? 143 00:07:06,021 --> 00:07:08,981 -His phone's off! -[Micky] He wouldn't answer to you anyway. 144 00:07:09,060 --> 00:07:11,901 -What you did to him. -We need to report it. 145 00:07:11,981 --> 00:07:15,861 -They're grown men. -When's Carl gone missing before? 146 00:07:15,940 --> 00:07:18,661 -When he got herpes round his mouth. -He didn't! 147 00:07:18,740 --> 00:07:21,301 Plating that mong who did handstands in the Jockey. 148 00:07:21,380 --> 00:07:24,060 He's got a point. If they don't want to be contacted... 149 00:07:25,661 --> 00:07:27,701 I dread the day I have to rely on you. 150 00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:29,260 Maybe you're just missing him? 151 00:07:32,221 --> 00:07:33,060 [inhales] 152 00:07:38,341 --> 00:07:39,901 [sheep bleating] 153 00:07:47,421 --> 00:07:48,940 What's she digging now? 154 00:07:49,021 --> 00:07:50,820 Don't think about it. 155 00:07:50,901 --> 00:07:52,060 What is she digging? 156 00:07:54,620 --> 00:07:56,380 [tense music] 157 00:07:59,700 --> 00:08:04,221 Help! You twisted fucker! Let us out! 158 00:08:04,301 --> 00:08:07,021 -Anyone, please help! -Shut up! Shut up! 159 00:08:07,101 --> 00:08:08,301 [Hazel vocalising] 160 00:08:08,380 --> 00:08:12,341 [sobs] 161 00:08:12,421 --> 00:08:14,260 [continues vocalising] 162 00:08:14,341 --> 00:08:17,500 Please! Just talk to us. 163 00:08:17,581 --> 00:08:19,421 What do you want to talk to her for! 164 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:23,221 -Ask her not to do anything stupid. -More stupid than undress, 165 00:08:23,301 --> 00:08:25,661 kidnap and let us starve to death? 166 00:08:25,740 --> 00:08:26,620 [sobs] 167 00:08:26,700 --> 00:08:28,500 [continues vocalising] 168 00:08:28,581 --> 00:08:31,581 -I'm too young to die. -We're not going to die. 169 00:08:33,301 --> 00:08:35,021 [stops vocalising] 170 00:08:36,700 --> 00:08:38,501 [breathing heavily] 171 00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:43,980 Smell cooking? 172 00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:46,980 It might be other runaways she's caught. 173 00:08:47,581 --> 00:08:52,541 -Help! Help! -Somebody help us! You sick bitch! 174 00:08:52,621 --> 00:08:53,941 Let us out! 175 00:08:54,021 --> 00:08:55,861 [door creaks open] 176 00:08:57,541 --> 00:08:58,861 So sorry, lads. 177 00:08:58,941 --> 00:09:02,220 Smoking too much of my own shit always makes me paranoid. 178 00:09:02,301 --> 00:09:03,781 Breakfast's ready. 179 00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:13,061 Put your hands together for Mavis, who's had her best collection yet 180 00:09:13,141 --> 00:09:18,141 at Timperley Infirmary. 62 pounds and 28 pennies. 181 00:09:21,340 --> 00:09:25,501 Oh, and the calendar's drawing ever closer, girls. 182 00:09:25,581 --> 00:09:26,901 [all] Ooh! 183 00:09:26,980 --> 00:09:29,901 We need at least three more, 184 00:09:29,980 --> 00:09:33,340 even though Edith has volunteered to be on every month! 185 00:09:33,421 --> 00:09:35,980 [laughing] 186 00:09:36,061 --> 00:09:39,661 [all] Out! Out! 187 00:09:39,741 --> 00:09:43,860 [cheering] 188 00:09:43,941 --> 00:09:46,941 [Florence] I think that's time for a break, ladies. 189 00:09:49,061 --> 00:09:53,181 [chatter] 190 00:09:53,261 --> 00:09:54,781 What do you think of the gang? 191 00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,220 All right, I suppose. 192 00:09:56,301 --> 00:10:01,701 It's all right. You'll settle. That's just first day of term stuff. 193 00:10:01,781 --> 00:10:05,381 It took me over a month before I finally settled. 194 00:10:05,460 --> 00:10:07,701 Florence. Florence. 195 00:10:07,781 --> 00:10:10,421 Ethel wants to go naked in her wheelchair. 196 00:10:10,501 --> 00:10:12,941 Give Stephen Hawkings a hard-on. 197 00:10:13,021 --> 00:10:15,100 [laughing] 198 00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,460 And now look at me! 199 00:10:16,541 --> 00:10:17,781 [laughing] 200 00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:20,220 I'd probably get me kit off for a good cause. 201 00:10:20,301 --> 00:10:22,340 Especially if it'd help with the gang. 202 00:10:22,421 --> 00:10:23,621 [murmuring] Chatsworth. 203 00:10:23,701 --> 00:10:26,421 [murmuring] 204 00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,821 Don't give them any more ammunition. 205 00:10:28,901 --> 00:10:32,220 You'll find them an even harder bunch to crack. 206 00:10:32,941 --> 00:10:34,901 Shall we do coffee? Soon? 207 00:10:35,541 --> 00:10:37,100 -[chuckles] -I'll call you. 208 00:10:37,181 --> 00:10:39,621 [harmonica music playing] 209 00:10:39,701 --> 00:10:41,501 [laughing] 210 00:10:41,581 --> 00:10:43,021 [murmuring] Drug addicts. 211 00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:48,501 [Mimi] You two-faced, skinny bitch. 212 00:10:48,581 --> 00:10:50,701 Bet you never had to bring kids up. 213 00:10:50,781 --> 00:10:54,701 Save it, Lumley. Nobody tells me what to do. 214 00:10:54,781 --> 00:10:57,860 Don't fucking ignore me. 215 00:10:57,941 --> 00:11:04,021 In Hertford, Hereford and Hampshire, hurricanes hardly ever happen. 216 00:11:04,100 --> 00:11:08,061 [computer voice] You have 6% accuracy and 2% progress. 217 00:11:08,141 --> 00:11:10,621 Stuck-up slag. 218 00:11:10,701 --> 00:11:11,781 [knocking on door] 219 00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:12,901 Mimi? 220 00:11:16,581 --> 00:11:17,661 You OK? 221 00:11:18,860 --> 00:11:20,980 Women's Institute? 222 00:11:21,740 --> 00:11:24,181 That is what all this is about? 223 00:11:24,261 --> 00:11:27,261 -They're all right. -They're not you. 224 00:11:27,340 --> 00:11:29,021 I know they're not. 225 00:11:29,100 --> 00:11:32,460 But the other night wasn't the only time I've scared someone off. 226 00:11:32,541 --> 00:11:35,301 -That is their problem. -It's not, though, Karen. 227 00:11:37,340 --> 00:11:39,980 I was born and brought up on a council estate 228 00:11:40,061 --> 00:11:42,340 thirty-five miles away from here, 229 00:11:42,421 --> 00:11:44,860 and I'm going to spend the rest of me life on one. 230 00:11:44,941 --> 00:11:47,381 So how are them stuck-up boots going to help? 231 00:11:51,781 --> 00:11:54,901 Improve me jam-making? [laughing] 232 00:12:00,381 --> 00:12:03,541 I'm now in this constant struggle with my personality. 233 00:12:03,621 --> 00:12:05,301 You've been through a lot. 234 00:12:05,381 --> 00:12:08,621 So don't you start trying to be summat you're not. 235 00:12:12,860 --> 00:12:13,941 I promise. 236 00:12:14,021 --> 00:12:17,021 [harmonica music playing] 237 00:12:17,100 --> 00:12:18,701 [music fades out] 238 00:12:20,661 --> 00:12:22,301 I'm sorry about your dog. 239 00:12:24,901 --> 00:12:26,621 [iron whooshes] 240 00:12:29,541 --> 00:12:34,021 More concerned with you two, now you know my little secret. 241 00:12:34,100 --> 00:12:36,901 -Don't worry about us. -No chance of us saying owt. 242 00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:39,100 -You don't look like you'd grass. -As if? 243 00:12:39,181 --> 00:12:41,301 Or that you're capable of taxing me. 244 00:12:41,381 --> 00:12:42,740 You're holding the gun. 245 00:12:42,821 --> 00:12:44,301 [engine revs] 246 00:12:49,740 --> 00:12:51,021 Fucking hell, Cedric. 247 00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:52,901 [engine stops] 248 00:12:56,261 --> 00:12:57,941 [tense music] 249 00:13:00,740 --> 00:13:02,021 [Chesney] Fuck! 250 00:13:02,100 --> 00:13:03,661 [tense music continues] 251 00:13:09,980 --> 00:13:11,941 Shout at the dibble? 252 00:13:12,021 --> 00:13:15,581 -These inbreds stick together. -He'll end up nicking us. 253 00:13:15,661 --> 00:13:20,501 [both speaking Welsh] 254 00:13:20,581 --> 00:13:22,460 -They talking Urdu? -Welsh. 255 00:13:22,541 --> 00:13:26,701 [both speaking Welsh] 256 00:13:26,781 --> 00:13:28,301 She's coming. 257 00:13:29,701 --> 00:13:31,261 [engine starts] 258 00:13:34,340 --> 00:13:35,661 [clattering] 259 00:13:35,740 --> 00:13:38,460 You sit down. 260 00:13:38,541 --> 00:13:42,301 [laughing] 261 00:13:42,381 --> 00:13:44,901 I unloaded it this morning. 262 00:13:44,980 --> 00:13:47,100 Make sure there's no more accidents. 263 00:13:56,100 --> 00:13:57,541 What did the police want? 264 00:13:57,620 --> 00:14:02,541 Just reports of two lads trying doors on cars and sheds. 265 00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:04,781 Wouldn't want to get arrested round here. 266 00:14:04,860 --> 00:14:06,301 Have you seen The Wicker Man? 267 00:14:07,901 --> 00:14:09,301 Guess not. 268 00:14:10,421 --> 00:14:15,381 So no belongings and a fiver between you. 269 00:14:15,460 --> 00:14:19,061 -Tells me you left somewhere in a hurry. -Yeah. 270 00:14:19,141 --> 00:14:20,100 You could say that. 271 00:14:20,181 --> 00:14:24,541 -It's just-- -Not interested. No shit on my doorstep. 272 00:14:25,381 --> 00:14:26,460 Where were you headed? 273 00:14:26,541 --> 00:14:28,980 -We was going to go-- -Ireland. 274 00:14:31,980 --> 00:14:33,781 [exhales] 275 00:14:35,181 --> 00:14:37,261 [Hazel] I'll drop you at the ferry tonight. 276 00:14:37,340 --> 00:14:40,100 My way of saying sorry for doing a Papa Fritzl. 277 00:14:41,541 --> 00:14:44,021 There's a spare bed if you want to get some sleep. 278 00:14:48,781 --> 00:14:49,860 How much is there? 279 00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,261 [soft piano music] 280 00:14:53,340 --> 00:14:54,781 [music fades out] 281 00:14:54,860 --> 00:14:57,340 [volunteer] We're here to start a new initiative 282 00:14:57,421 --> 00:15:00,860 that aims to allow residents of the community a voice of their own. 283 00:15:00,941 --> 00:15:02,821 [dog barking] 284 00:15:02,901 --> 00:15:03,860 Hey! 285 00:15:03,941 --> 00:15:05,220 Aargh! 286 00:15:05,301 --> 00:15:06,460 [dog continues barking] 287 00:15:06,541 --> 00:15:09,220 Could you tell us how this all came about? 288 00:15:09,301 --> 00:15:12,181 -Not bad, that. -Better than some. 289 00:15:13,141 --> 00:15:14,661 Graffiti scares the punters. 290 00:15:14,740 --> 00:15:15,941 [chatter] 291 00:15:16,021 --> 00:15:18,421 -Seen our Shane? -He's just gone badger baiting. 292 00:15:18,500 --> 00:15:21,541 -In the daytime? -He needs to earn for his honeymoon. 293 00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:25,541 He's took Bunty's dog without permission, and it's epileptic. 294 00:15:25,620 --> 00:15:28,100 Mind, some farmers are happy to see a few less. 295 00:15:28,181 --> 00:15:29,781 [chatter] 296 00:15:31,581 --> 00:15:33,661 I recognise Billy Smart in the suit, 297 00:15:33,740 --> 00:15:36,421 even without the oranges and the stiletto up his arse. 298 00:15:41,021 --> 00:15:42,141 Hello. 299 00:15:42,220 --> 00:15:44,141 [upbeat music] 300 00:15:44,860 --> 00:15:48,620 -What you filming me for? -[Shane] You look like a likely candidate. 301 00:15:50,021 --> 00:15:51,620 Freeze! RSPCA! 302 00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:52,901 [laughing] 303 00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:55,460 -Bang to rights. -I've got the farmer's permission, 304 00:15:55,541 --> 00:15:58,740 -you dickhead. -Here. Put me down for one. 305 00:15:59,980 --> 00:16:03,620 -Pretending to be a grass is never a joke. -Argh! 306 00:16:04,340 --> 00:16:08,860 -It's a movie camera. Digital. -Did Baghead Billy ram-raid Currys again? 307 00:16:08,941 --> 00:16:11,821 We got picked off the council cos Chatsworth's a shit-hole. 308 00:16:11,901 --> 00:16:15,581 -What for? -"Community initiative to aid recovery". 309 00:16:15,661 --> 00:16:18,860 We make films of our situation, yeah, and see what we look like. 310 00:16:18,941 --> 00:16:21,100 It's easier to fix. It's what the Yanks do. 311 00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:24,261 Oh, my giddy fucking God. You are a grass. 312 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:27,141 -Why's that being a grass? -Why's it not being a grass? 313 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:31,220 The best one gets a grand and a free trip to Hollinwood. 314 00:16:31,301 --> 00:16:32,701 But we can split the money. 315 00:16:32,781 --> 00:16:36,181 Nah. Two weeks' badger baiting earns more than that. 316 00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:37,100 [Micky] So? 317 00:16:37,181 --> 00:16:40,261 What, killing God's creatures and stinking out the gaff? 318 00:16:40,340 --> 00:16:42,781 -I know what I'd rather do. -You and films? 319 00:16:42,860 --> 00:16:45,421 It's good to dream. It don't have to be interviews. 320 00:16:45,500 --> 00:16:47,541 -We can dramatize it. -What, like Corrie? 321 00:16:47,620 --> 00:16:49,421 No. Drama! 322 00:16:49,500 --> 00:16:50,901 [Micky] Anything. You know. 323 00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:53,541 "Nobody leaves the baby in the corner." 324 00:16:53,620 --> 00:16:54,941 -Fuck! -I've got evidence. 325 00:16:55,021 --> 00:16:55,860 [spits] 326 00:16:56,781 --> 00:16:58,220 [Micky] I'll be watching you. 327 00:16:59,421 --> 00:17:01,661 Here. Don't say owt in front of Donnie Brasco, 328 00:17:01,740 --> 00:17:04,140 but we have got a camera of our own, you know. 329 00:17:04,221 --> 00:17:05,061 [clicks tongue] 330 00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:08,940 Next filming I do is from a hot-air balloon over the Serengeti. 331 00:17:09,021 --> 00:17:12,581 [upbeat African music] 332 00:17:12,660 --> 00:17:14,860 [music fades out] 333 00:17:15,541 --> 00:17:18,821 It's a great way of holding the mirror to ourselves. 334 00:17:18,900 --> 00:17:21,461 Amazing stories without the cost of scripted drama. 335 00:17:21,541 --> 00:17:24,301 We'll interview you about your experiences with the community. 336 00:17:24,380 --> 00:17:28,781 [shouting] Kyle! Jeremy! Put the fucking lotion in the basket. 337 00:17:28,861 --> 00:17:30,821 Carl and Chesney are wanted! 338 00:17:31,660 --> 00:17:32,940 -For what? -Murder. 339 00:17:33,021 --> 00:17:33,900 No way! 340 00:17:33,981 --> 00:17:36,141 We were reporting 'em missing at the station 341 00:17:36,221 --> 00:17:38,381 -and that slag sister was coming out. -Who? 342 00:17:38,461 --> 00:17:40,781 -Jimmy's sister stuck 'em in. -Lying bitch. 343 00:17:40,861 --> 00:17:42,821 -Slow down. What's happened? -Sammy. 344 00:17:42,900 --> 00:17:44,061 She's give a statement. 345 00:17:44,141 --> 00:17:46,981 She saw 'em with Bonehead before he was killed. 346 00:17:47,061 --> 00:17:48,461 [Liam] They must know it was Jimmy. 347 00:17:48,541 --> 00:17:50,781 That means nothing. We've got to get 'em home. 348 00:17:50,861 --> 00:17:52,301 Or keep 'em away. 349 00:17:55,660 --> 00:17:58,261 Sometimes, I'd swear they're not even mine. 350 00:17:58,341 --> 00:17:59,660 [piano music] 351 00:18:02,261 --> 00:18:03,101 [music fades out] 352 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:07,861 -Oo-er, missus! -Local MP with a Marilyn fixation. 353 00:18:08,660 --> 00:18:10,061 Oh, yeah. 354 00:18:10,781 --> 00:18:15,021 Yes, Mr President. Happy birthday, Mr President. 355 00:18:15,101 --> 00:18:19,141 Orange and a high-heel shoe up your anus, Mr President. 356 00:18:19,221 --> 00:18:20,940 [laughing] 357 00:18:21,021 --> 00:18:22,581 Come here, you daft get. 358 00:18:24,461 --> 00:18:26,381 Know this, Kelly Maguire. 359 00:18:26,461 --> 00:18:29,341 I don't, nor never will... 360 00:18:30,021 --> 00:18:34,101 need oranges, poppers, pills or Viagra. 361 00:18:34,180 --> 00:18:35,221 Just you. 362 00:18:36,821 --> 00:18:38,781 In the gear or starkers. 363 00:18:38,861 --> 00:18:41,101 [laughing] 364 00:18:42,061 --> 00:18:44,541 -Ah. Whoo! -Mm-mm. 365 00:18:44,621 --> 00:18:47,101 -Pumpkin. -Yes, honey bunny? 366 00:18:47,180 --> 00:18:49,700 -You know Micky's camera thingy? -Mm. 367 00:18:49,781 --> 00:18:52,061 Well, I do role-playing at work all the time, 368 00:18:52,141 --> 00:18:56,341 and I think, maybe I've always wanted to be an actress. 369 00:18:56,420 --> 00:18:58,501 I like the sound of that, an' all. 370 00:18:59,541 --> 00:19:01,660 No piss, pain or back bottom, though. 371 00:19:01,741 --> 00:19:03,660 [upbeat music] 372 00:19:06,021 --> 00:19:08,141 [music fades out] 373 00:19:08,221 --> 00:19:09,821 -[Micky] Cut! -Got it. 374 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,900 Liam! Chop chop. Nosing at our film. 375 00:19:12,981 --> 00:19:15,420 -What's this supposed to be? -Tell 'em nothing! 376 00:19:15,501 --> 00:19:17,301 We're calling it Fit Bird. 377 00:19:17,381 --> 00:19:20,821 Why aren't you making a film that says something about our situation? 378 00:19:21,900 --> 00:19:24,741 -Said we should've done Top Gun! -Stupid! 379 00:19:24,821 --> 00:19:28,341 Fit Bird is going to show the plight of working girls. 380 00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:30,940 -Help get 'em off the street. -Sugar-coated fluff. 381 00:19:31,021 --> 00:19:33,461 You can show that, but you can also make a stand. 382 00:19:33,541 --> 00:19:36,301 -What, like you are? -It's variété, you twat. 383 00:19:36,381 --> 00:19:38,900 The art of letting the estate speak for itself. 384 00:19:38,981 --> 00:19:42,461 People would rather watch a film than a documentary any day. 385 00:19:42,541 --> 00:19:44,700 Michael Moore might have something to say. 386 00:19:44,781 --> 00:19:48,180 -Who? That arsonist kid in your year? -Why they working with him? 387 00:19:49,221 --> 00:19:50,940 Go, Liam. Go. 388 00:19:52,741 --> 00:19:59,660 [humming] 389 00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:01,501 Oh, it's got to be worth a shot. 390 00:20:01,581 --> 00:20:04,221 What's the point? Don't we want to get away from here? 391 00:20:04,301 --> 00:20:07,301 -Why don't you just ask her? -You ask her. It's your idea. 392 00:20:07,381 --> 00:20:08,420 All right. I will. 393 00:20:08,501 --> 00:20:13,981 [wordless singing] 394 00:20:16,021 --> 00:20:16,981 More salad? 395 00:20:18,061 --> 00:20:19,021 He's on a diet. 396 00:20:21,501 --> 00:20:22,381 [grunts] 397 00:20:22,461 --> 00:20:23,501 [birds chirping] 398 00:20:24,261 --> 00:20:25,700 I thought they had to be fat. 399 00:20:25,781 --> 00:20:29,420 When you sell 'em for meat. I want this lazy fucker to mate. 400 00:20:29,501 --> 00:20:32,900 -He's too heavy to mount anything. -Can't girl pigs get on top? 401 00:20:35,700 --> 00:20:39,541 -[Chesney] What's it called? -He? Harris. 402 00:20:39,621 --> 00:20:44,021 -Don't want to leave yet. It's too early. -[Carl] Hazel. 403 00:20:44,940 --> 00:20:46,021 We've been thinking. 404 00:20:47,261 --> 00:20:48,621 Your weed. 405 00:20:48,700 --> 00:20:50,660 -Forget it. -Oh, come on. 406 00:20:50,741 --> 00:20:54,781 -There's always a drought round our way. -There's a drought everywhere these days. 407 00:20:54,861 --> 00:20:57,781 -I bet we can beat what price you get. -And pay with what? 408 00:20:57,861 --> 00:20:59,781 -Yeah, we know people. -It's all right. 409 00:20:59,861 --> 00:21:01,781 -Come on. Just a little bit. -Hazel. 410 00:21:01,861 --> 00:21:03,741 It's mainly personal, anyway. 411 00:21:03,821 --> 00:21:06,700 -All that? -There's a few other users in the valley, 412 00:21:06,781 --> 00:21:08,741 and a couple of Scousers take the rest. 413 00:21:08,821 --> 00:21:09,781 [sheep bleating] 414 00:21:09,861 --> 00:21:12,221 -Probably are a bit cheap, though. -We won't be. 415 00:21:13,660 --> 00:21:17,741 Go on, Hazel. Just give us a sample. We'll prove we're worth it. 416 00:21:17,821 --> 00:21:20,261 -If it's good, we'll get paid in advance. -It is. 417 00:21:20,341 --> 00:21:21,861 -Five days into blossom. 418 00:21:21,940 --> 00:21:24,660 Go double with this. The buds stink, but it won't burn 'em. 419 00:21:24,741 --> 00:21:27,101 -Makes them stickier. -What about Ireland? 420 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:28,981 Second thoughts. 421 00:21:29,061 --> 00:21:30,621 Make some money, can go anywhere. 422 00:21:30,700 --> 00:21:32,221 -Crop's not ready. -Two days? 423 00:21:32,301 --> 00:21:34,700 -Four. -I'd say less. But we can wait. 424 00:21:34,781 --> 00:21:35,621 [laughing] 425 00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:37,981 -Can you, now? -If you're interested. 426 00:21:38,061 --> 00:21:40,221 -Where will you stay? -Is there a hotel? 427 00:21:40,301 --> 00:21:42,261 Won't it let people know where you are? 428 00:21:42,341 --> 00:21:44,900 -So? -Guess you can't be proper fugitives then. 429 00:21:44,981 --> 00:21:46,061 We never said we were. 430 00:21:46,981 --> 00:21:49,741 Come on. There must be lots of jobs on a farm. 431 00:21:49,821 --> 00:21:51,101 Just while we wait. 432 00:21:52,660 --> 00:21:55,301 [suspenseful music] 433 00:21:57,460 --> 00:21:58,741 You lookin' at me? 434 00:21:58,821 --> 00:22:00,501 Yeah, you. 435 00:22:02,341 --> 00:22:04,541 You lookin' at me? 436 00:22:04,621 --> 00:22:08,541 Because I can't see anyone else here. 437 00:22:08,621 --> 00:22:11,061 Who the fuck do you think you're looking at? 438 00:22:11,141 --> 00:22:12,101 Rated. 439 00:22:12,180 --> 00:22:15,180 -You look like a bell end. -[Shane] Well. Life imitating art. 440 00:22:15,261 --> 00:22:17,420 Your script better be as good as your porn. 441 00:22:17,501 --> 00:22:18,700 [laughing] 442 00:22:18,781 --> 00:22:21,261 No need to dress as one to play Sonic The Hedgehog! 443 00:22:21,341 --> 00:22:23,420 I'm writing a script. 444 00:22:24,900 --> 00:22:27,381 -What? -Carl and Ches? 445 00:22:28,420 --> 00:22:30,700 They've pinned Bonehead's murder on them. 446 00:22:34,221 --> 00:22:36,621 -Someone needs to sort Jimmy out. -No! 447 00:22:36,700 --> 00:22:38,940 You're Maguires. Come on. Do the right thing. 448 00:22:39,021 --> 00:22:41,861 Round the family up. Force Jimmy to confess. 449 00:22:41,940 --> 00:22:43,341 -I can't. -Why? 450 00:22:43,420 --> 00:22:44,900 Cos it's not our fight. 451 00:22:46,221 --> 00:22:47,940 That's never stopped you before! 452 00:22:51,900 --> 00:22:54,141 I can't concentrate in here. 453 00:22:57,180 --> 00:22:59,700 -[Ian] Do it for me. -I would. 454 00:22:59,781 --> 00:23:01,061 I've already asked me dad. 455 00:23:01,141 --> 00:23:04,341 He said he's not risking any of us for any of yous. 456 00:23:04,420 --> 00:23:08,061 Plus, he can't stand the fucking sight of Chesney after his mam ripped him off. 457 00:23:08,981 --> 00:23:10,221 [soft piano music] 458 00:23:10,301 --> 00:23:11,940 Look, I'm sorry. 459 00:23:17,861 --> 00:23:19,621 [harmonica music playing] 460 00:23:22,381 --> 00:23:24,940 [music fades out] 461 00:23:25,021 --> 00:23:28,940 -Is it full-frontal? -We will be nude, 462 00:23:29,021 --> 00:23:33,981 with fruit and flowers tastefully placed to protect our modesty. 463 00:23:34,061 --> 00:23:35,061 [chuckles] 464 00:23:35,141 --> 00:23:38,621 My Paddy loved me in nothing but a Santy hat. 465 00:23:38,700 --> 00:23:41,741 I don't think it's your thing. 466 00:23:41,821 --> 00:23:46,700 Laura Ashley, under a good old Mandamp;S cardie. 467 00:23:46,781 --> 00:23:49,341 Make a good leprechaun in March? 468 00:23:49,420 --> 00:23:53,420 Maybe not the modelling, Mimi. 469 00:23:55,621 --> 00:23:57,660 [Florence] Any other favourite labels? 470 00:23:58,700 --> 00:24:01,420 Bit of Lacoste, back in the day. 471 00:24:01,501 --> 00:24:02,821 Dey do, dough, don't dey though? 472 00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:08,741 My ultimate fashion disaster was on Lady Captain's Day last year. 473 00:24:08,821 --> 00:24:12,781 The heavens opened, and my bra strap was showing 474 00:24:12,861 --> 00:24:14,541 through my cashmere Pringle. 475 00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:15,420 [alarm beeping] 476 00:24:15,501 --> 00:24:17,821 Not so fast, Little Miss Bootle. 477 00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:20,061 [Mimi] Get off me! 478 00:24:20,940 --> 00:24:23,101 -All right. Get off! -Shut it! 479 00:24:23,180 --> 00:24:24,821 Bitch! 480 00:24:24,900 --> 00:24:29,301 [hens clucking] 481 00:24:32,341 --> 00:24:35,021 -You think sheep bite? -Probably. 482 00:24:35,101 --> 00:24:37,301 [hens clucking] 483 00:24:45,221 --> 00:24:48,180 -It's good here, man. -It's not that good. 484 00:24:48,261 --> 00:24:50,101 There's fuck-all for me back there. 485 00:24:51,541 --> 00:24:52,861 I know there is for you. 486 00:24:52,940 --> 00:24:55,301 [dog quacking] 487 00:24:55,381 --> 00:24:57,381 Should have just fronted the little dickhead. 488 00:24:58,221 --> 00:24:59,101 Think so? 489 00:25:00,940 --> 00:25:03,341 Nah. He'd leather me all over. 490 00:25:03,420 --> 00:25:05,061 And still hurt Liam. 491 00:25:05,141 --> 00:25:07,141 [cow mooing] 492 00:25:09,101 --> 00:25:13,061 -I didn't think I'd miss home. -[Chesney] You'll get over it. 493 00:25:13,141 --> 00:25:14,781 He wouldn't get us in Pakistan. 494 00:25:14,861 --> 00:25:17,141 -Behave! -I know. 495 00:25:17,900 --> 00:25:19,940 -London? -There's too many homeless. 496 00:25:20,021 --> 00:25:22,180 Macca's brother was on the gear in a week. 497 00:25:22,261 --> 00:25:25,021 -He was a baghead before he went! -Wasn't queer, though. 498 00:25:25,660 --> 00:25:27,180 [hens clucking] 499 00:25:27,261 --> 00:25:29,660 At least we're staying put till the weed's ready. 500 00:25:29,741 --> 00:25:30,741 [footsteps approaching] 501 00:25:35,021 --> 00:25:35,981 Carl? 502 00:25:39,021 --> 00:25:41,660 You all right? Just thought you might be hungry. 503 00:25:41,741 --> 00:25:42,741 Nice kid, in't he? 504 00:25:42,821 --> 00:25:44,741 [Jimmy] Let's hope he makes it to 12. 505 00:25:46,341 --> 00:25:47,781 [soft flute music] 506 00:25:53,821 --> 00:25:55,741 [music fades out] 507 00:25:55,821 --> 00:25:56,981 [upbeat music] 508 00:25:57,940 --> 00:26:01,220 -Anything good? -Small matter of a firearm. 509 00:26:01,301 --> 00:26:03,821 Just got him another five years. 510 00:26:03,900 --> 00:26:07,861 -[Liam] Let's get it and get out of here. -And action. 511 00:26:07,940 --> 00:26:11,341 Chatsworth was originally developed as an overspill garden suburb 512 00:26:11,420 --> 00:26:14,741 in the post-war years, a time of optimism in city planning. 513 00:26:14,821 --> 00:26:18,781 The good intentions faded with time and the shift in cultural attitudes. 514 00:26:21,101 --> 00:26:23,900 -Good take? -Perfect. 515 00:26:25,541 --> 00:26:29,700 ♪ I travel the world And the seven seas ♪ 516 00:26:29,781 --> 00:26:33,700 ♪ Everybody's looking for something ♪ 517 00:26:33,781 --> 00:26:38,621 ♪ Some of them want to use you ♪ 518 00:26:38,700 --> 00:26:42,460 ♪ Some of them want to get used by you ♪ 519 00:26:42,541 --> 00:26:46,420 -[sighs] Stop doing that! -Go on, Hazel. 520 00:26:47,621 --> 00:26:52,101 Hardly the Palladium, but I held a note longer than most. 521 00:26:52,180 --> 00:26:53,621 Scran time soon? 522 00:26:53,700 --> 00:26:55,700 This'll build your appetite. 523 00:26:55,781 --> 00:27:00,301 [clicks tongue] Hmm. Haven't you got small hands? 524 00:27:00,381 --> 00:27:02,501 -Don't believe the hype. -[laughing] 525 00:27:02,581 --> 00:27:04,180 [Chesney] I'd love to work on ships. 526 00:27:04,261 --> 00:27:06,420 -You still wear armbands! -Why did you stop? 527 00:27:06,501 --> 00:27:09,460 It's harder for mature singers when they leave the ships. 528 00:27:09,541 --> 00:27:12,101 -Look at Jane McDonald. -So why leave? 529 00:27:12,180 --> 00:27:13,341 Indeed. 530 00:27:13,420 --> 00:27:14,981 -Your ex? -[Hazel] At the back. 531 00:27:15,061 --> 00:27:17,541 You'd be all right, the size of his hands. 532 00:27:17,621 --> 00:27:20,700 -[inhales] Yeah, they were the problem. -[Carl] In what way? 533 00:27:20,781 --> 00:27:22,621 -[Hazel] Shh! -[reporter]...Ted Boden. 534 00:27:22,700 --> 00:27:25,381 -There's your dad! [reporter] known as Bonehead, 535 00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:28,541 had attended a house party after which he was brutally attacked 536 00:27:28,621 --> 00:27:30,061 and later died. 537 00:27:30,141 --> 00:27:33,180 [reporter] The police have released the images of suspects 538 00:27:33,261 --> 00:27:35,900 Carl Gallagher and Chesney Karib. 539 00:27:35,981 --> 00:27:38,101 A new statement claims to have seen both men 540 00:27:38,180 --> 00:27:41,141 with the victim shortly before his death. [gasping] 541 00:27:41,220 --> 00:27:43,141 [breathing heavily] 542 00:27:47,861 --> 00:27:49,781 [inhales] 543 00:27:52,460 --> 00:27:54,301 I wanted to kill a man once. 544 00:27:54,381 --> 00:27:55,821 [exhales] We didn't kill him. 545 00:27:55,900 --> 00:27:57,180 [chuckles] Looks that way. 546 00:27:57,261 --> 00:28:00,700 Ches, we need to get back. They've got fuck-all evidence, 547 00:28:00,781 --> 00:28:02,460 we've just got to tell the truth. 548 00:28:02,541 --> 00:28:04,861 -Jimmy'll come for us. -Not if he's in jail. 549 00:28:04,940 --> 00:28:07,180 Brothers, uncles, rest of his firm. 550 00:28:07,261 --> 00:28:10,301 -We're on the run for murder. -[laughing] In for a penny! 551 00:28:10,381 --> 00:28:13,261 We're fucked either way. Remanded for killing Bonehead 552 00:28:13,341 --> 00:28:15,741 or getting done in by knobhead wannabe gangsters. 553 00:28:15,821 --> 00:28:17,220 We'll get police protection. 554 00:28:17,301 --> 00:28:20,781 Cos they're known for sympathy when a brother's got problems. 555 00:28:21,581 --> 00:28:24,261 What protection? You're suspects! 556 00:28:25,220 --> 00:28:26,900 We need to get back and sort this. 557 00:28:27,700 --> 00:28:30,460 Will that lessen the threat to your little brother? 558 00:28:30,541 --> 00:28:33,220 [tense music] 559 00:28:33,301 --> 00:28:34,660 [rock music] 560 00:28:34,741 --> 00:28:37,141 Contrary to the national trend of pub closures, 561 00:28:37,220 --> 00:28:38,821 and regardless of any recession, 562 00:28:38,900 --> 00:28:42,621 Chatsworth regulars still find ways to attend their local pub. 563 00:28:45,301 --> 00:28:47,301 [rock music continues playing] 564 00:28:59,781 --> 00:29:03,900 Scouse decoy service suspended. You're not welcome. 565 00:29:03,980 --> 00:29:05,861 -You're still speaking. -You reckon? 566 00:29:05,940 --> 00:29:09,581 -They can't have kept you five minutes! -Not the point. 567 00:29:13,940 --> 00:29:15,501 [rock music playing] 568 00:29:17,621 --> 00:29:20,821 -I'm not proud of myself. -Save it, Winona. 569 00:29:20,900 --> 00:29:24,220 It's just that nothing beats that adrenaline rush. 570 00:29:24,301 --> 00:29:26,940 Normal people stop around their fifteenth birthday. 571 00:29:27,021 --> 00:29:29,741 -I didn't start till I was fifty. -Well, you need help. 572 00:29:29,821 --> 00:29:31,301 I'm getting it. 573 00:29:32,541 --> 00:29:34,341 I am sorry. 574 00:29:34,420 --> 00:29:37,220 I promise I won't put you through that again. 575 00:29:37,301 --> 00:29:38,621 Fair enough. 576 00:29:38,700 --> 00:29:42,660 As well as the apology, I came to talk about the calendar. 577 00:29:42,741 --> 00:29:47,301 My new white basque and the pom-poms? I'm a lovely snowman. 578 00:29:47,381 --> 00:29:50,900 I was wondering about getting something to help the mood. 579 00:29:50,980 --> 00:29:55,821 You know, relax and open the girls up a bit? 580 00:29:55,900 --> 00:29:58,381 A couple of them are really quite shy. 581 00:29:58,460 --> 00:29:59,861 You know. 582 00:29:59,940 --> 00:30:03,900 -And I can get that sort of stuff? -Can't you? 583 00:30:04,940 --> 00:30:06,741 I'll sort something out. 584 00:30:06,821 --> 00:30:09,940 Not that different to the rest of us after all! 585 00:30:10,021 --> 00:30:13,501 Actually worse, but pretending to be better? 586 00:30:13,581 --> 00:30:15,700 -Hypocrites! -It's OK. 587 00:30:15,781 --> 00:30:17,940 Wait and see. Sshhh. 588 00:30:18,021 --> 00:30:20,101 [music continues] 589 00:30:23,301 --> 00:30:25,460 Leave it. Don't. 590 00:30:25,541 --> 00:30:27,861 [Ian] No! No! 591 00:30:27,940 --> 00:30:30,061 [Maxine] You think you're a big man? 592 00:30:30,141 --> 00:30:32,101 Do the crime but you can't do the time? 593 00:30:32,180 --> 00:30:34,700 -Is that right? Yeah. -[Sammy] What's going on? 594 00:30:34,781 --> 00:30:38,261 -And what's with the bullshit statements? -Hey. 595 00:30:38,341 --> 00:30:39,861 -[Sammy] Stupid bitch! -That's not nice. 596 00:30:39,940 --> 00:30:41,861 You think everyone's scared? 597 00:30:41,940 --> 00:30:43,061 [all gasping] 598 00:30:43,141 --> 00:30:45,301 [Maxine] You make me sick! -[Sammy] Fuckin'. 599 00:30:45,381 --> 00:30:46,301 [glass shattering] 600 00:30:46,381 --> 00:30:47,980 [gasping] 601 00:30:48,061 --> 00:30:49,900 [all gasping] 602 00:30:50,940 --> 00:30:51,980 [Sammy] Get her off. 603 00:30:52,061 --> 00:30:52,940 [gasping] 604 00:30:53,021 --> 00:30:55,021 [Jamie] Out! 605 00:30:55,101 --> 00:30:56,141 [door closes] 606 00:31:00,581 --> 00:31:02,781 [jazz music playing] 607 00:31:03,541 --> 00:31:07,101 [Micky] The war on terror fucked me up big-time. 608 00:31:07,180 --> 00:31:10,541 Back home, the war on crime raged all around. 609 00:31:11,180 --> 00:31:14,220 And the good guys were losing. 610 00:31:15,861 --> 00:31:17,501 [jazz music continues] 611 00:31:18,621 --> 00:31:20,700 -Cut! -Bramhall, please. 612 00:31:20,781 --> 00:31:22,460 Whoa, lady. 613 00:31:22,541 --> 00:31:25,541 I think... Hey, I think you'll find I saw him first! 614 00:31:25,621 --> 00:31:28,741 -We're making a film, love. -Aren't we all? 615 00:31:28,821 --> 00:31:31,700 OK, let's go again, everyone. From the top. 616 00:31:31,781 --> 00:31:34,341 [muffled] My fucking arm's killing me! 617 00:31:37,180 --> 00:31:38,700 I still say it needs a stitch. 618 00:31:38,781 --> 00:31:43,700 Five-hour wait with overdosing smack-heads for a scratch? 619 00:31:43,781 --> 00:31:46,061 No chance. 620 00:31:46,141 --> 00:31:49,261 -[Ian] Sorry. -Don't worry about it. 621 00:31:49,341 --> 00:31:50,301 About everything. 622 00:31:50,381 --> 00:31:52,660 [Ian] Now I'm feeling even more guilty. 623 00:31:52,740 --> 00:31:54,900 Don't use this to put another downer on us. 624 00:31:54,980 --> 00:31:58,581 If Carl was with you, he wouldn't be fucking about at parties. 625 00:31:58,660 --> 00:32:02,900 He wouldn't be getting in this shit and you wouldn't be getting whacked. 626 00:32:02,980 --> 00:32:05,861 And if I wasn't with you, I could be at parties, 627 00:32:05,940 --> 00:32:10,261 off me head and risk getting raped or killed by knobheads. 628 00:32:11,460 --> 00:32:13,660 What sort of way is that to look at life? 629 00:32:17,261 --> 00:32:18,180 [Maxine] Here. 630 00:32:18,980 --> 00:32:19,940 You need it. 631 00:32:20,021 --> 00:32:23,621 [flute music] 632 00:32:24,460 --> 00:32:26,940 Now, that'll get a party going. 633 00:32:27,021 --> 00:32:28,581 Not enough. 634 00:32:28,660 --> 00:32:29,621 [banging] 635 00:32:29,700 --> 00:32:30,940 You'll incite an orgy. 636 00:32:32,021 --> 00:32:33,861 -Exactly! -Garçon! 637 00:32:33,940 --> 00:32:36,061 -Mam, we need a Scouser. 638 00:32:37,021 --> 00:32:40,940 -What the fuck do you look like? -Has anyone seen Liam? 639 00:32:41,021 --> 00:32:47,301 ["Raindrops keep falling on my head" playing] 640 00:32:47,381 --> 00:32:50,740 Fucking gangsters, eh? Eh, you remember, Lillian! 641 00:32:50,821 --> 00:32:53,660 You know, before Slack Alices, me and our Bernard 642 00:32:53,740 --> 00:32:57,301 -sent the Krays packing. -You'd have been about eight! 643 00:32:57,381 --> 00:33:01,900 Platform seven, Piccadilly Station, stood at the back, QSG. 644 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:05,621 -Showed the Cockneys, all right. -The shopping channel? 645 00:33:06,460 --> 00:33:11,660 No, QSG Quality Street Gang, you know, Tommy the Hat, Benny Axes, Kenny the Dope. 646 00:33:11,740 --> 00:33:15,180 You know. Manchester's finest. 647 00:33:15,261 --> 00:33:17,341 I prefer Roses. 648 00:33:17,420 --> 00:33:18,621 [door opens] 649 00:33:24,621 --> 00:33:27,301 ["Raindrops keep falling on my head" continues playing] 650 00:33:27,381 --> 00:33:29,261 [laughing] 651 00:33:29,341 --> 00:33:33,541 ♪ But that doesn't mean my eyes Will soon be turning red ♪ 652 00:33:33,621 --> 00:33:35,301 ♪ Crying is not for me ♪ 653 00:33:35,381 --> 00:33:37,381 [laughing] 654 00:33:37,460 --> 00:33:40,501 ♪ Cos I'm never gonna stop the rain... ♪ 655 00:33:40,581 --> 00:33:42,301 No, not round here. Stop! Stop! 656 00:33:43,261 --> 00:33:46,501 -[Chesney] What's wrong? -Just not here. 657 00:33:46,581 --> 00:33:48,821 Just don't point. 658 00:33:54,420 --> 00:33:56,381 Come on, mate. Enjoy it while we can. 659 00:33:56,460 --> 00:33:58,861 I'm trying. 660 00:33:58,940 --> 00:34:01,581 She was a bit lively getting you away from there. 661 00:34:02,740 --> 00:34:05,980 Sacred spaces. She's right into me, though. 662 00:34:06,061 --> 00:34:08,220 She could be your mam! 663 00:34:09,740 --> 00:34:13,021 MILF with her own weed farm. Could it get any better? 664 00:34:15,141 --> 00:34:16,340 [Chesney] See you later. 665 00:34:16,421 --> 00:34:19,061 So you've had no boyfriends at all since your ex? 666 00:34:20,300 --> 00:34:22,660 -How long's he been dead? -Couple of years. 667 00:34:24,061 --> 00:34:25,700 That's a long time without a man. 668 00:34:25,780 --> 00:34:27,381 [Hazel laughing] Maybe. 669 00:34:27,461 --> 00:34:30,541 -You don't talk about him much. -That's right. 670 00:34:30,621 --> 00:34:32,581 But you started to, though. 671 00:34:33,660 --> 00:34:37,381 -Penile cancer sounds nasty. -Change the channel. That was all. 672 00:34:37,461 --> 00:34:38,820 [Hazel] Just change the channel. 673 00:34:38,901 --> 00:34:41,340 -It's not contagious? -[Hazel] Wouldn't let it go. 674 00:34:41,421 --> 00:34:44,340 [Hazel] Just kept going on and on. [chuckles] 675 00:34:49,581 --> 00:34:51,820 [soft flute music] 676 00:34:57,941 --> 00:34:59,061 You're right. 677 00:35:00,101 --> 00:35:02,181 [Hazel] It's been too long. 678 00:35:07,981 --> 00:35:10,261 -I think she's up for it. -Never. 679 00:35:10,340 --> 00:35:13,820 -What's up with you? -Let's see where your dick takes us. 680 00:35:13,901 --> 00:35:16,381 Don't be like that. She might want both of us, anyway. 681 00:35:16,461 --> 00:35:18,101 [chuckles] 682 00:35:20,461 --> 00:35:22,101 Give her one from me. 683 00:35:25,461 --> 00:35:27,860 [suspenseful music] 684 00:35:27,941 --> 00:35:30,701 [both moaning] 685 00:35:36,541 --> 00:35:38,221 [laughing] Oh, no more! 686 00:35:38,300 --> 00:35:41,141 [soft flute music] 687 00:35:43,101 --> 00:35:46,061 [phone beeping] 688 00:35:46,141 --> 00:35:47,381 Fuck! 689 00:35:49,061 --> 00:35:55,261 [phone rings] 690 00:36:02,021 --> 00:36:05,300 [Liam over the phone] Carl, you always say: "See you." 691 00:36:05,381 --> 00:36:07,701 [sobs] 692 00:36:09,701 --> 00:36:14,300 [continues sobbing] 693 00:36:14,381 --> 00:36:16,300 [music fades out] 694 00:36:16,381 --> 00:36:18,101 [upbeat music] 695 00:36:20,621 --> 00:36:24,501 You'll be perfect for the part. It's been a nightmare getting extras. 696 00:36:24,581 --> 00:36:26,461 -Do we share the prize money? -Why? 697 00:36:26,541 --> 00:36:28,261 But you're pulling out anyway. 698 00:36:28,340 --> 00:36:30,701 We sacrifice our project for the greater cause. 699 00:36:30,780 --> 00:36:32,780 You're not doing anything about Jimmy. 700 00:36:32,860 --> 00:36:36,581 -Everyone is too scared to do anything. -It's not our fight. 701 00:36:36,661 --> 00:36:40,461 You know, the surveillance can look after itself. 702 00:36:42,461 --> 00:36:45,261 All right. We'll split the winnings. 703 00:36:45,901 --> 00:36:47,701 OK. 704 00:36:47,780 --> 00:36:49,581 [upbeat music] 705 00:36:53,300 --> 00:36:55,501 [music fades out] 706 00:36:55,581 --> 00:36:56,701 [jazz music] 707 00:36:56,780 --> 00:37:00,181 [Micky] For some reason, my new bird didn't understand me. 708 00:37:00,941 --> 00:37:02,860 I love the start of this. 709 00:37:02,941 --> 00:37:05,261 [moaning on television] 710 00:37:06,421 --> 00:37:08,820 Are you right in the head? 711 00:37:08,901 --> 00:37:10,901 Lots of couples watch these films. 712 00:37:10,981 --> 00:37:12,461 On a first date? 713 00:37:14,981 --> 00:37:16,300 [moaning continues] 714 00:37:16,380 --> 00:37:18,300 And cut. Great. 715 00:37:18,380 --> 00:37:20,581 Well done, team. 716 00:37:22,380 --> 00:37:23,741 [sirens] 717 00:37:23,820 --> 00:37:25,621 [Micky] All across the state. 718 00:37:25,701 --> 00:37:26,661 [woman] Go away! 719 00:37:26,741 --> 00:37:27,581 [car horn] 720 00:37:27,661 --> 00:37:30,181 [Micky] Why won't the council sort it? 721 00:37:30,261 --> 00:37:33,981 Smackheads, crackheads, rapists, murderers? 722 00:37:35,261 --> 00:37:37,501 -[Micky] Does me in. -Looking for a good time? 723 00:37:37,581 --> 00:37:39,941 [Micky] Cabbages me napper. 724 00:37:40,021 --> 00:37:41,901 Sends me under. 725 00:37:44,101 --> 00:37:47,981 [suspense music] 726 00:37:49,421 --> 00:37:51,101 [Micky] Then I sussed it. 727 00:37:51,780 --> 00:37:53,820 Even though my swede kept pounding. 728 00:37:55,141 --> 00:37:57,261 Save just one little lamb. 729 00:37:58,021 --> 00:38:02,300 Save one and the buzzing might stop and the headaches go away. 730 00:38:05,300 --> 00:38:08,941 Damp piss-flaps for the first time in years, girls. 731 00:38:09,021 --> 00:38:09,860 [laughing] 732 00:38:09,941 --> 00:38:12,141 -Right! Come on. [Florence] Go on. 733 00:38:12,221 --> 00:38:15,101 Oh, come on, give it here. 734 00:38:15,181 --> 00:38:18,101 [indistinct chatter] 735 00:38:18,181 --> 00:38:21,541 -Ooh! -Oooooh! 736 00:38:21,621 --> 00:38:24,981 Ooh, Jeez! [laughing] 737 00:38:25,061 --> 00:38:28,860 [all laughing] 738 00:38:28,941 --> 00:38:31,221 [cheering] 739 00:38:31,300 --> 00:38:33,221 [all laughing] 740 00:38:40,101 --> 00:38:42,820 [chatter] 741 00:38:47,300 --> 00:38:49,221 [all laughing] 742 00:38:51,701 --> 00:38:54,300 [Mimi] Not so posh now, are you, girls? 743 00:38:56,780 --> 00:38:59,101 [chatter] 744 00:38:59,181 --> 00:39:00,541 [Ian] Can you hear me now? 745 00:39:05,261 --> 00:39:06,501 Can you hear me now? 746 00:39:06,581 --> 00:39:07,661 [Maxine] Ian? 747 00:39:07,741 --> 00:39:08,941 [door closes, click] 748 00:39:10,981 --> 00:39:13,461 Yeah? 749 00:39:13,541 --> 00:39:16,461 -I fancy a drink. -Have you got a death wish? 750 00:39:16,541 --> 00:39:17,541 He won't stop me. 751 00:39:17,621 --> 00:39:18,741 [sighs] 752 00:39:18,820 --> 00:39:19,901 You don't think? 753 00:39:19,981 --> 00:39:22,780 -You going somewhere? -Yeah, I've got something to do. 754 00:39:24,820 --> 00:39:26,101 What's this? 755 00:39:26,181 --> 00:39:29,101 Oh-ho! Now who's got a death wish? 756 00:39:29,181 --> 00:39:31,101 Have you got any better ideas? 757 00:39:31,181 --> 00:39:33,300 It's not Micky's movie! 758 00:39:33,380 --> 00:39:36,621 -Somebody might come forward. -The whole estate's shit-scared. 759 00:39:37,261 --> 00:39:39,021 He's not gonna just admit to it. 760 00:39:39,101 --> 00:39:40,780 So I'll have to be subtle. 761 00:39:40,860 --> 00:39:45,021 -Ian, it's not the time to play the hero. -[Ian] I'm no hero. 762 00:39:45,101 --> 00:39:49,421 I steal my brother's girl, then stand and watch her get hit with a pool cue. 763 00:39:49,501 --> 00:39:51,981 Stop! 764 00:39:52,780 --> 00:39:55,300 I don't know how anyone could hit a woman. 765 00:39:55,380 --> 00:39:57,380 [Hazel] You'd be surprised. 766 00:39:57,461 --> 00:40:00,421 -Why d'you get with him? -We didn't start out like that. 767 00:40:00,501 --> 00:40:04,421 -[Hazel] I guess we both changed. -Still no excuse. 768 00:40:08,581 --> 00:40:12,141 -He broke six of my ribs once. -Scum. 769 00:40:13,741 --> 00:40:15,461 You're sweet now, though. 770 00:40:16,300 --> 00:40:19,541 I wish my life was this sorted. -[Hazel] D'you reckon? 771 00:40:19,621 --> 00:40:21,461 What more could you want? 772 00:40:21,541 --> 00:40:23,981 I wouldn't be so sure I'm that good a role model. 773 00:40:24,061 --> 00:40:28,300 [soft piano music] 774 00:40:29,661 --> 00:40:31,941 [Hazel sobs] 775 00:40:32,021 --> 00:40:34,340 [Chesney] He can't stop you any more. 776 00:40:34,421 --> 00:40:37,860 -[Chesney] You could go back on the boats. -He can. 777 00:40:37,941 --> 00:40:39,380 How? 778 00:40:46,300 --> 00:40:47,981 Oh, shit! 779 00:40:48,061 --> 00:40:51,621 -[Hazel] Sorry, I didn't mean... -[man] I'll fucking kill you! 780 00:40:53,221 --> 00:40:58,621 -[Hazel] Don't! Please! I'm sorry. -[man] Bitch! 781 00:41:00,780 --> 00:41:01,941 [thud] 782 00:41:02,021 --> 00:41:03,221 [breathing heavily] 783 00:41:03,300 --> 00:41:05,380 [gasping] 784 00:41:10,981 --> 00:41:14,221 [sobs] I'm more a prisoner than before. 785 00:41:15,021 --> 00:41:18,701 [sobs] If I ever leave, then they find the body. 786 00:41:20,340 --> 00:41:22,941 What do you think's left down there after two years? 787 00:41:23,021 --> 00:41:25,021 Bet his hands are still as big. 788 00:41:26,261 --> 00:41:27,181 [Hazel sobs] 789 00:41:27,261 --> 00:41:29,061 Pigs eat anything, don't they? 790 00:41:32,860 --> 00:41:34,780 No way, Chesney. 791 00:41:35,780 --> 00:41:37,380 [exhales] 792 00:41:37,461 --> 00:41:40,941 Harris'd love a break from that diet. 793 00:41:43,461 --> 00:41:45,581 -All right, mate? -You having a laugh? 794 00:41:45,661 --> 00:41:48,860 Are you? What is it with you and my family? 795 00:41:49,661 --> 00:41:50,701 You must mean Carl... 796 00:41:51,581 --> 00:41:53,780 -cos I ain't got round to Liam. -Where is he? 797 00:41:54,501 --> 00:41:57,300 You think I'm stupid? I found a camera. 798 00:41:57,380 --> 00:42:00,421 -You do think I'm stupid. -[Ian] Ah! 799 00:42:03,501 --> 00:42:05,661 [Ian] Ah! Ah! 800 00:42:14,221 --> 00:42:15,741 I'm getting out of here. 801 00:42:16,661 --> 00:42:18,181 [breathing heavily] 802 00:42:18,261 --> 00:42:19,541 -When? -Now. 803 00:42:19,621 --> 00:42:20,461 -[Chesney] Right. 804 00:42:20,541 --> 00:42:22,860 [breathing heavily] 805 00:42:23,860 --> 00:42:26,340 I'm coming with you. 806 00:42:26,421 --> 00:42:28,901 What about the weed? Your new bird? 807 00:42:28,981 --> 00:42:30,021 [soft piano music] 808 00:42:36,421 --> 00:42:38,501 [pig grunts] 809 00:42:46,741 --> 00:42:49,221 [pig grunts] 810 00:42:51,261 --> 00:42:54,741 [soft music continues] 811 00:43:05,021 --> 00:43:07,581 [pig grunts] 812 00:43:11,380 --> 00:43:14,141 [soft flute music] 813 00:43:27,340 --> 00:43:28,300 [music fades out] 814 00:43:28,380 --> 00:43:31,981 [screaming on television] 815 00:43:32,061 --> 00:43:34,221 [chainsaw on television] 816 00:43:37,380 --> 00:43:39,501 [screaming on television] 817 00:43:45,340 --> 00:43:48,061 Oh, it's great ambition. They should be really proud. 818 00:43:48,141 --> 00:43:52,780 Possibly as innovative as the original, considering the budget. 819 00:43:53,741 --> 00:43:55,221 I thought you were a Scouser? 820 00:43:56,101 --> 00:43:57,701 The Wirral. 821 00:44:02,101 --> 00:44:05,181 [Micky] The hurricane of retribution flushed the shit down the drain. 822 00:44:05,261 --> 00:44:07,141 Me napper wasn't shredded. 823 00:44:07,221 --> 00:44:08,701 The buzzing was a quiet beep. 824 00:44:08,780 --> 00:44:12,221 The dealers and pimps got fucked off as flowers bloomed 825 00:44:12,300 --> 00:44:14,101 and kiddies' laughter filled the air. 826 00:44:14,181 --> 00:44:16,461 Old people went back in the park. 827 00:44:16,541 --> 00:44:19,661 I married Beatrice and we adopted Jodie. 828 00:44:19,741 --> 00:44:24,261 United won yet another treble and we all lived happily ever after. 829 00:44:24,340 --> 00:44:25,860 [guitar music playing] 830 00:44:25,941 --> 00:44:30,340 [applause] 831 00:44:40,021 --> 00:44:43,021 [music fades out] 832 00:44:46,221 --> 00:44:49,101 Your little cocktail certainly livened proceedings at the WI. 833 00:44:49,181 --> 00:44:53,061 Fifty-two copies sold already. Twelve ninety-nine. 834 00:44:53,141 --> 00:44:55,261 Threadbare-rug-munching.com. 835 00:44:55,340 --> 00:44:56,340 [both laughing] 836 00:44:56,421 --> 00:44:58,221 Some sick fucks out there. 837 00:44:58,300 --> 00:45:00,101 Check February. 838 00:45:01,701 --> 00:45:04,461 [Mimi laughing] -Ew! 839 00:45:04,541 --> 00:45:06,141 [soft flute music] 840 00:45:06,221 --> 00:45:09,780 [Carl] There's a better way of phrasing the law of physics opposite reaction. 841 00:45:11,061 --> 00:45:13,181 Just say it the way we do round here. 842 00:45:13,261 --> 00:45:16,380 What goes around comes around, and that. 843 00:45:18,741 --> 00:45:19,860 [Liam] Blood? 844 00:45:19,941 --> 00:45:22,820 [soft flute music continues] 845 00:45:23,780 --> 00:45:27,061 [Carl] Cos now it's time to stop all the bullshit. 846 00:45:27,141 --> 00:45:30,061 Stop flapping. Galvanise. 847 00:45:30,141 --> 00:45:32,900 Stick together in the name of righteousness, and that. 848 00:45:34,141 --> 00:45:35,501 Do the right things, innit? 849 00:45:35,581 --> 00:45:37,021 [door opens] 850 00:45:37,860 --> 00:45:39,101 Ian? 851 00:45:39,181 --> 00:45:42,101 Are you all right? All right, eh, Ian? 852 00:45:42,181 --> 00:45:47,621 [breathing heavily] 853 00:45:47,701 --> 00:45:49,820 [continues breathing heavily] 854 00:45:53,981 --> 00:45:55,541 [music fades out] 855 00:45:55,621 --> 00:45:59,461 [crying] Please, Carl, just come home. 856 00:45:59,541 --> 00:46:00,741 [Frank] They're on to you already! 857 00:46:00,820 --> 00:46:03,461 -You firing blanks? -It's a terrible affliction for a man. 858 00:46:03,541 --> 00:46:05,701 So we put our heads together and come up with a solution. 859 00:46:05,780 --> 00:46:06,860 IVF'll cost you a fortune. 860 00:46:06,941 --> 00:46:08,900 We've mixed it all up, so you won't know whose is whose. 861 00:46:08,981 --> 00:46:10,181 You think Kelly'll be up for it? 862 00:46:10,261 --> 00:46:12,261 We all know who's really responsible! 863 00:46:12,340 --> 00:46:15,541 If you don't fess up, I'll fucking kill ya. 864 00:46:15,621 --> 00:46:18,421 -Things can go back to the way they were. -No. They can't. 865 00:46:18,501 --> 00:46:19,541 [Carl] Yeah, they can. 866 00:46:19,621 --> 00:46:21,380 [Micky] Are you sure you wanna do this? 867 00:46:21,461 --> 00:46:22,541 Gallagher! 868 00:46:25,340 --> 00:46:27,061 Yeah, that's right. Run after him. 869 00:46:27,141 --> 00:46:30,501 I'm not running after him. I'm leaving. 870 00:46:30,581 --> 00:46:32,141 [outro music] 871 00:47:10,581 --> 00:47:13,380 [all shouting] 872 00:47:27,900 --> 00:47:30,141 Ey! 873 00:47:30,221 --> 00:47:31,221 Cut! 874 00:47:32,701 --> 00:47:34,300 Cut! 875 00:47:34,380 --> 00:47:36,300 Fucking hell, Frank! 876 00:47:36,380 --> 00:47:38,461 Alright, there you go then. 877 00:47:39,421 --> 00:47:41,221 Quadriplegia. 878 00:47:41,300 --> 00:47:43,221 [guitar music]